So what does "more" mean? "More" will mean different things to different people and at different times.
For the stay at home mother (by choice or not) there are lots of opportunities. Many are actually "doing more" everyday without even realizing it. My mother, Monica Hill-Ogilvie is a great example. She left a wonderful and fulfilling career (my assessment, and I wasn't even born yet!) as a government employee creating quality early education programs for children in the inner city (ghetto) in Kingston Jamaica. As a stay at home mother she did "more" for her family and children by staying involved in the school PTOs, voicing her opinion on policies that were right or wrong; devising educational programs in the summer for my siblings and I (no comment on how we felt about it), to keep our minds stimulated during the long summers; hosting home making classes for young women in the community, teaching us to sew, cook, bake in preparation for an independent life as adult women; taking care of my 2 grandmothers who lived with us and teaching us how to honor and respect the elderly within our communities; there were many more "mores". To all the stay at home mothers, pulling one of the hardest and thankless jobs there are in the entire world, you are not forgotten: you are probably doing "some" and are on your way to discovering "some more".
To those in the working world (corporate, education, government, non-profit etc.), "more" could feel like a simple reference to being promoted to higher levels. That's one option. "More" could also mean finding others to mentor, maybe others with greater potential than us to make it higher on the corporate ladder, and mentor them to show them "the ropes", what we were taught. For others, it could mean, because of where you are in life with health, school, family or finances, excelling in place. Doing your current job to the best of your abilities. Creating a continued sense of respect and credibility for your work. Even a demand for your skills or expertise by other departments, teams or companies because you are so good at what you do...until you are in a position to pursue and cash in on the demand.
One of my favourite Proverbs says "Do you see a man skillful in his work? He (or she) will stand before kings; he (or she) will not stand before obscure men." I truly believe this with all my heart. As we enter different phases in life, the best investment we can make is excelling where we are. Not because someone "promised you a promotion" or is welcoming you with open arms into the board room - chances are they are not (given the current statistics of women of color in leadership positions - fodder for another blog). But because, when you enter into that next phase and are ready to do some "more" you have enough proof of your capabilities and ability to excel.
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ReplyDeleteThe word more terrifies me. Like the little orphan with the bowl who goes up to the grouchy guy serving the food and says with sad eyes " please sir, can I have some more?" and he barks, "MORE!!??". I feel that way because as a working mother, I feel stretched to the max and the thought of doing even more makes me cringe. It's not that I don't have ambition, but I am thankful that I learned a long time ago that "no" is an answer just like "yes" and often, for the sake of my sanity, less really is more. I love your comment about excelling where we are - being faithful in the little things. Just like Joseph who was put in prison and then was put in charge of it. So for me, more is standing where I am with the resources under my control and being able to look at myself in the mirror and honestly say I have done my very best today. Let tomorrow take care of itself.
ReplyDeleteYup...Mummy did a heck of a lot in terms of giving of her talents and times to us kids and mothers. And I am fully on board with the notion of "blooming where you are planted". BUT...sometimes we (I) know that we are capable of more, but the FEAR of sticking out our neck or trying and then failing keeps us from the MORE.
ReplyDeleteI got a new "revelation" today @ church and it put me in mind of our discussion. The speaker was making a distinction between further and farther. In short, to him, farther is distance and further is about depth. Somehow how the thought of being and doing more by getting deeper and building quality relationships, habits and lifestyles is a more I can live with. Engaging more intimately with my current friends, looking them in the eye more and being a better listener. Focusing more intently when conversing with those around me. Caring more about the quality of my interactions not necessarily so much about the quantity. Remembering to followup in person and in prayer. The more that is deeper - yes that's a more I can live with.
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